Reviewed by Kyle Gervais, University of Otago (kyle.gervais@otago.ac.nz)
Stephen Mitchell is, according the Wall Street Journal (!), a 'rock star'.1 His critically praised, bestselling translations and adaptations include Gilgamesh, the Bhagavad Gita, the Tao Te Ching, and the Book of Job. His Iliad, already the subject of attention in the popular media, comes with recommendations by James Romm, Sarah Ruden, and Mary Lefkowitz. But despite these impressive credentials, and despite having produced a work that inarguably fulfils three of Matthew Arnold's four famous criteria for Homeric translation (speed, clarity, and simplicity; nobility is the eternally elusive fourth),2 Mitchell will be criticized by academics for two reasons—the first fair, the second not.3 Before discussing these, I address the introduction and ancillary materials, whose format follows that of the Bernard Knox-Robert Fagles Iliad,4 which remains the benchmark: introduction, pronunciation guide, map, notes to the translation, list of deviations from the Greek text, pronouncing glossary, and bibliography. Mitchell's introduction, aimed at a general audience, comprises character studies, a discussion of Homeric warfare as both 'wretched' and 'man-glorying', brief notes on Homeric concepts of hospitality and honour, an in-depth analysis of Priam's meeting with Achilles, and various observations on the power of Homer's poetry. It cannot hope to compete with Knox's celebrated introduction, but it does contain some keen insights. First, Mitchell's simple answer to the vexed question of why the Trojans did not simply return Helen: 'in the Iliad, story is fate. The Trojans couldn't return Helen because they didn't return her. Troy had to fall because it did fall. Fate … is nothing but the story handed down to Homer, the story he had to tell' (xxvii). But Homer is resilient in the face of such an oppressive force. Simply by ending his narrative where he does, excluding the Fall of Troy from his poem, 'Homer gives Priam and Achilles a reprieve of infinite time. … Priam will forever sit at the funeral feast eating, drinking, and mourning over his fallen son to his heart's content. Achilles will sleep with his beloved Briseïs forever' (lii-liii). The second insight concerns the 'serenity' of the Iliad's author, an idea which pervades Mitchell's introduction and translation. His introduction begins: 'We return to the Iliad because it is one of the monuments of our own magnificence. Its poetry lifts even the most devastating human events into the realm of the beautiful, and it shows us how vast and serene the mind can be even when it contemplates the horrors of war' (xv). This is Homer the Zen master (Mitchell has followed this discipline for decades), and the characterization has some appeal. Compare his view on the end of book 8 (the Trojan campfires blaze like stars in the night sky), with that of Bernard Knox. First Knox: 'These are surely the clearest hills, the most brilliant stars and the brightest fires in all poetry, and everyone who has waited to go into battle knows how true the lines are, how clear and memorable and lovely is every detail of the landscape the soldier fears he may be seeing for the last time' (30). He speaks with the authority of a combat veteran. But Mitchell's analysis is better: 'What an astonishing image this is, with its sense of infinite serenity that arises not from any of the characters (the Trojans are revved up with anticipation; the Achaeans are terrified) but from the poet's own peace of heart' (xvii). The notes following the translation are exegetical and mythological; unlike Knox's original notes to Fagles' translation, Mitchell's notes consist largely of excerpts from previously published commentaries and monographs. By their nature they add nothing new to Homeric scholarship, but they facilitate basic understanding of the poem. The bibliography is heavy on commentaries and reference works, light on monographs; it lists many works published in the two decades since Fagles-Knox, but remains less comprehensive. The deviations from M. L. West's Greek text5 consist almost exclusively of further editing published by West in two subsequent monographs:6 Mitchell has essentially edited West with West. This brings us to the first scholarly charge to be levelled against Mitchell. He is the first translator to use West's edition of the Iliad. It is not my place to assess the merits of this edition, which has been thoroughly reviewed.7 But the effect of Mitchell's choice is that more than 1,000 lines identified by West as un-Homeric— including all of book 10—are missing from the translation. The result, in Mitchell's view, is 'a dramatically sharper and leaner text' (lvii). Also, perhaps, a text useless for teaching or study. The omission of book 10 is particularly egregious, since it seems motivated as much by West as by Mitchell's own distaste: it is a 'baroque and nasty episode' (lvii), which clearly does not fit with his vision of Homer. In any case, a challenge to the orthodox rejection of book 10 has already been mounted.8 The second criticism is more difficult. Mitchell has excised many of Homer's epithets and patronyms from his translation. So in the first lines of the epic, Πηληϊάδεω Ἀχιλῆος (1.1) is simply 'Achilles', ἑκηβόλου Ἀπόλλωνος (1.14) is 'the god's', and ἐϋκνήμιδες Ἀχαιοί (1.17) is 'Achaean soldiers' (but Mitchell is less drastic with 'that king of men, Agamemnon [lit. "Atreus' son"], and godlike Achilles' (1.7), and '[the son of Zeus,] Apollo, who strikes from afar' (1.21)). Mitchell is not the first to realize that faithful reproduction of epithets and patronyms is a mistake: most prominently among modern translators, Fitzgerald, Fagles, and Lombardo all took liberties in pursuit of better poetry.9 How does Mitchell compare to these three? Let us turn to the beginning of book 2. As the scene opens, gods and mortals—ἀνέρες ἱπποκορυσταὶ—are asleep. This epithet is rare (5 times in the poem) and imposing; it deserves to be translated. Fitzgerald goes too far ('those who fought at Troy—/ horse-handlers, charioteers'), Fagles perhaps not far enough ('chariot-driving men'). Lombardo has the right idea ('the men, by their warhorses'). But Mitchell omits the epithet entirely: 'Now all the other immortals and all the humans…'. He does the same at 24.677, showing that the omission here is a conscious choice—and a bad one. But he fares much better in the following lines. He translates the repeated οὖλον ὄνειρον … οὖλε ὄνειρε (2.6, 8) as 'malicious dream … dream', which is no more misleading than Fitzgerald ('fatal dream … Sinister Dream') or Lombardo ('a wooly menace, a Dream … deadly Dream': 'wooly', from the homonymous adjective, is clever, but if anything, οὖλος looks back to ὀλέσῃ (2.4)). Now we come to θοὰς ἐπὶ νῆας Ἀχαιῶν, repeated twice (2.8, 17), and κάρη κομόωντας Ἀχαιούς, repeated four times (2.11, 28, 51, 65). All the three earlier translators vary the first phrase (Fitzgerald: 'amid the fast ships of Akhaia … to where the long ships lay'; Fagles: 'to the fast Achaean ships … along the fast trim ships'; Lombardo seems to repeat exactly, but 'shadows' in the second phrase is not in the Greek: 'go, deadly Dream, along the Greek ships … Shadows flew / Around the Greek ships'). Mitchell is in fact the only translator who faithfully repeats, although the phrase he repeats is by no means a literal translation: 'to/at the army of the Achaeans'. Turning to the second phrase, we find that repetition is the norm (Fagles: 'long-haired Achaeans'; Lombardo: 'long-haired Greeks'). So too Mitchell, although again he does not give a literal translation: three times the dream commands Agamemnon to 'arm the Achaeans', and once (2.51) the heralds summon 'all the Achaeans'. We may worry that by straying so far from the literal meaning of the Greek, Mitchell is ignoring Homer (although comparison with these other translators shows his practice is far from egregious). But, in fact, he is paying very close attention. The force of κάρη κομόωντας Ἀχαιούς lies not in its literal meaning, but rather in the alliteration of κ/χ (which continues the alliteration of θωρῆξαί … κέλευσε or κέλευσε κηρύσσειν in the first half of the clauses). Further, the end of κάρη κομόωντας Ἀχαιούς echoes the end of θοὰς ἐπὶ νῆας Ἀχαιῶν. Mitchell hears all these repeated sounds, and so his Dream goes to the 'army of the Achaeans' to tell Agamemnon to 'arm the Achaeans' (but first he assembles 'all the Achaeans' to test them). This is sensitive translation, and respects the Greek more than, say, literal but unmusical 'beside the swift ships of the Achaians' and 'flowing-haired Achaians'. So much for epithets. I finish by looking at the poetic quality of Mitchell's translation, which is considerable. For Mitchell, 'In translating Homer, clarity and rhythm are everything'.10 Clarity he seeks through careful diction ('neither too formal nor too colloquial', lix) and, yes, the omission of epithets, patronyms, and West's spurious passages (he also uses stress accents and diereses in the text for all but the most common names; he uses Latinate forms). For rhythm, he uses a 'minimally iambic five-beat line' (lix) that tends toward anapaestic or dactylic. This is a good choice. It suggests the rhythms of dactylic hexameter, but does not drag or wander the way English six-beat lines tend to. The rhythm is clear, but not overbearing. An example (Apollo looses his arrows on the Achaean camp, 1.43-52): Of the few epithets that Mitchell cuts, only ἀμφηρεφέα (1.45) might be missed, and even then not by many. He is sensitive to the use of enjambment in the Greek and to its alliteration: 'filled with fury' suggests the repetition of κ/χ in βῆ δὲ κατ' Οὐλύμποιο καρήνων χωόμενος κῆρ (1.44), while—in a line that does stray far from the Greek—the alliteration of 'dropped … drew … deadly' nevertheless echoes Homer's alliterative ἕζετ' ἔπειτ' ἀπάνευθε νεῶν, μετὰ δ' ἰὸν ἕηκε (1.48). Mitchell's last two lines greatly expand on Homer (αἰεὶ δὲ πυραὶ νεκύων καίοντο θαμειαί, 1.52): tastes will vary on this choice. But 'and his coming was like the night' (ὃ δ' ἤϊε νυκτὶ ἐοικώς, 1.47) is exactly right. To quote Sheila Murnaghan's review of the Knox-Fagles Iliad, 'The physical book is lavishly produced, with heavy deckle-edged paper, large and clear type, a bound-in bookmark, and a rich gold and black dust jacket'11— again, Mitchell's book echoes its predecessor. But it has earned the right to do so: except where the 1,000 missing lines will remove it from consideration, Mitchell's Iliad deserves to be read as much as any other modern version. The copy editing is superb. I note only a missing question mark on p. 55.
striding to Earth from the pinnacles of Olympus
filled with fury. His bow and his quiver were slung
on his shoulder. The arrows rattled with every step.
Down he strode, and his coming was like the night.
He dropped to one knee and drew back a deadly arrow,
and a dreadful twang rang out from the silver bow.
First he attacked the mules and the dogs, but soon
he shifted his aim and struck down the men themselves.
And the close-packed pyres of the dead kept burning, burning,
beside the Achaean ships, all day and all night.
Notes:
1. It's Not All Greek to Him, 2011.09.30
2. Mitchell quotes Arnold at p. lix.
3. A third criticism, much discussed in the popular media, is Mitchell's use of slang. It focusses on his translation of ἄλαστε (22.261) as 'you son of a bitch'—which seems to me a fine solution.
4. Homer, Iliad (New York, 1990).
5. Homeri Ilias. Volumen prius, rhapsodias I-XII continens (Stuttgart, 1998), and Homerus Ilias volumen alterum, rhapsodiae XIII-XXIV (Munich, 2000).
6. Studies in the Text and Transmission of the Iliad (Munich, 2001), and The Making of the Iliad: Disquisition and Analytical Commentary (Oxford, 2011).
7. E.g., BMCR 2000.09.12 and 2001.06.21.
8. "Oral Poetics and the Homeric Doloneia" to be found at the Center for Hellenic Studies. The work is also now available in print: Dué, C., & Ebbott, M. Iliad 10 and the poetics of ambush: A multitext edition with essays and commentary. (Center for Hellenic Studies, 2010).
9. R. Fitzgerald (tr.), Homer: The Iliad (New York, 1974), and S. Lombardo (tr.) and S. Murnaghan, Homer: The Iliad (Indianapolis, 1997).
10. A Note from the Translator.
11. BMCR 02.01.05.
Yes, the Wall Street Journal reviewer called Mitchell a "rock star," and a recent review in the LA Times described his Iliad as one translated "so even Snooki could understand," one which "sounds more like MTV's 'Jersey Shore' than Mt. Olympus." Even the present BMCR reviewer, a graduate student, concedes that the translation lacks the "nobility" prescribed by Matthew Arnold, a quality whose absence is excused as "eternally elusive."
ReplyDeleteBe that as it may, a serious issue as to the authenticity and integrity of Mitchell's translation is posed by a second piece published in the Wall Street Journal, authored by Mitchell himself, Found In Translation.
In his article, Mitchell disclosed early drafts leading to lines 50-55 of Book 1 of his version, lines 48-52 of the original, a passage which the present BMCR reviewer singled out for quotation towards the end of the review.
Compare the prose version of A.T. Murray (Wyatt rev., Harvard, Loeb Ed., 1999), with Mitchell's first draft.
Murray, p.16 (line breaks introduced for comparison):
"Then he sat down apart from
the ships and let fly an arrow;
terrible was the twang of the silver bow.
The mules he attacked first and the swift dogs,
but then on the men themselves he let fly
his stinging arrows, and struck;
and ever did the pyres of the dead burn thick."
Mitchell's first draft (parentheticals his):
"Then he sat down apart from (opposite)
the ships and shot (let fly) an arrow,
and terrible was the twang from the silver bow.
First he attacked the mules and the swift dogs,
then he shot his sharp (piercing) arrows on the men themselves,
and forever the pyres of the dead kept burning thick (close together)."
Few would disagree that the indebtedness of this draft to Murray is too heavy to be coincidence between two independently achieved translations.
Mitchell's second and final drafts incorporate minor changes, some found in other published translations, some invented by Mitchell.
A five-line passage is a small sample, but it is the only passage for which Mitchell has disclosed his first draft.
I have translated the Iliad myself, so some might question my motive for a negative comment. Let them question but, motive aside, let them address the issue posed by the facts set forth above. Fidelity to the Children of Homer who have gone before demands no less.
The BMCR reviewer's panegyric extends to the copy editing, described as "superb." I have not examined that topic, except to notice that the table of contents for Book 8, p. xii, incorrectly states that "Hera and Athena go to help the Trojans," an error that would roll the goddesses in their graves, if they had any. Whether this mistake is that of a copy editor, or the translator, I do not know.
Before addressing the charge of plagiarism (Jordan does not use the word here, but does so in other forums; see below), I briefly address Jordan’s other comments. I quoted the Wall Street Journal to highlight Mitchell’s celebrity, which makes his translation different (for better or worse) than most that have gone before. I trust the popular media’s ability to assess celebrity; I am less sure of their ability to assess the literary merits of a translation from ancient Greek. The language of Mitchell’s Iliad is very careful. It is plain, but not vulgar. The popular media may not understand the distinction, but scholars should.
ReplyDeleteI do not concede that the translation lacks nobility, but rather asserts that it inarguably possesses speed, clarity, and simplicity. I decline to discuss nobility, the assessment of which is hopelessly subjective.
My review is not a panegyric.
That I am a graduate student is not relevant.
I turn now to ‘plagiarism’. Jordan’s criticisms of Mitchell and his translation are not limited to this forum. Tackling his project with considerable energy and dedication, Jordan has written in the comments section of various webpages (here, here, and here), on his promotional website for his own Iliad translation (here), and to me in several emails (‘I am negotiating with a service that uses proprietary software for computer analysis of similarities between texts, with a view towards exposing plagiarism.’ ‘You (and the BMCR editors) may be the last chance to avoid a coup by an impostor and his deep-pocket, commercial publisher. Someday, someone will bring out the truth. Please let it be you now.’). His post here on BMCR is an abbreviation of an analysis that can be found here.
In the next post I present excerpts from this analysis (in italics), with my thoughts following.
Mitchell's first draft (described by him as "raw stuff") was copied from the prose version of A.T. Murray (Wyatt rev., Harvard, Loeb Ed., 1999). … The indebtedness of this draft to Murray is too heavy to be coincidence between two independently achieved translations.
ReplyDeleteOn the contrary. In lines 1-3 both translators are quite literal, and coincidence is possible. I myself arrived at something similar to both by translating literally, deferring to LSJ wherever possible: ‘Then he sat far away from the ships and shot [LSJ gives “let fly”] an arrow. And a terrible twang arose from the silver bow. First he attacked the mules and swift dogs.’ In line 4 Mitchell is quite different from Murray—in particular, he omits βάλλ', while Murray does not. Again, line 5 is literal; Mitchell expresses the imperfect verb where Murray does not.
Mitchell's second and final drafts incorporate minor changes, many found in other published translations.
Mitchell's second draft: [Other translators:]
Then he dropped to one knee and an arrow flew, [Fagles: "he dropped to a knee"]
and a dreadful twang arose from the silver bow. [Lattimore: "rose from the bow"]
First he attacked the mules and the flickering dogs,
then he let fly his arrows on the men themselves.
And night and day the pyres of the dead kept burning. [Fitzgerald: "night and day"]
When describing archery, ‘dropped to a/one knee’ is idiomatic; Fagles and Mitchell could well have arrived at the phrase independently. The similarity to Lattimore is slight.
Mitchell final draft (as published):
He dropped to one knee and drew back a deadly arrow,
and a dreadful twang rang out from the silver bow. [Fagles: "rang out"]
First he attacked the mules and the dogs, but soon
he shifted his aim and struck down the men themselves. [Butler, Rieu: "aimed"]
And the close-packed pyres of the dead kept burning, burning, [Rieu: "close-packed"]
beside the Achaean ships, all day and all night.
The ‘aimed’ parallel is unconvincing. The word ‘twang’ invites the rhyming ‘rang out’; again Mitchell could have come up with this independently. LSJ have ‘crowded, close-set’ for θαμέες; ‘close-packed’ is an obvious modification to alliterate with ‘pyres’.
Mitchell does not credit Murray, or any translator.
In fact, in his notes on pp. 429f., Mitchell writes: ‘I also consulted a number of translations. Of these, the old Samuel Butler version taught me the most, especially about what to omit. The prose translations by Martin Hammond and E. V. Rieu … were also particularly helpful. In addition, I read the Loeb Library translation by A. T. Murray … and the verse translations by Robert Fagles, Robert Fitzgerald, Ian Johnson, Richmond Lattimore, and Stanley Lombardo.’ Furthermore, his correspondences with Robert Lamberton (published by him on his publisher’s website) show that he was open about consulting Murray, Lattimore, Fitzgerald, Fagles, and Lombardo.
I have found some striking similarities in Fagles Illiad and " The Illiad of Homer" Done into English Prose by
ReplyDeleteAndrew Lang, Walter Leaf, Ernest Myers Abridged and Edited by Wallace B. Miffett Illustrated by W.M. Berger Copyright 1933 and looks to have been originally published in 1905 by The Macmillan Company.